I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
