She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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