Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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