I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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