It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
