Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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