He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
