i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
handjob tips. give me some.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
