Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
