I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
