dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
