Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
