I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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