She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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