I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
