mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
