I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
