i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
