last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
