I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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