Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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