saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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