I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
