You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
