we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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