a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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