fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
