Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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