If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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