even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize