I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
