I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
