It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
