It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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