so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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