Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
