OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
