The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
