Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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