I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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