We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
