whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
