If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
