You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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