My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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