I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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