the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
