i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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