I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
