Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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