so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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