I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
